Hipsters, oh boy do I dislike them. I think hipsters are the new age EMOs but with an urban touch and overpriced vanity glasses. The hipster claims to be an intellectual urban youth that with a preference for sheep behavior and unknown grunge bands.
Spotting a hipster is easy.
The hair and hairstyle
A hipster usually has medium length hair so that he can show his messy hairstyle that exudes his carefree attitude. In reality, what he isn’t telling you is that his gross hairstyle with the messy hair costed him 200 bucks at the unisex hair salon full of hispter barbers themselves with the waiting room full of copies of hipster-friendly GQ, Esquire and Men’s Health.
Physical appearance (excluding the hair)
Hipster are lanky and have chicken legs. They neglect any exercising so that their legs atrophy and they can fit into their cigarette-thin elastic jeans. Hipsters will also wear overpriced clothes but will not wear clothes that display the logo of the brand eloquently (as opposed to how a guido would do).
The overall physical appearance of a hipster is messy, so the hipster’s hair fits in with his overall apearance. For the hipster, his hair is essential which means the hairstyle will dictate the clothing of the day. Since hipsters only have two hairstyles, messy and messier, the clothing of the hipster will follow suit (no pun), although the clothing will always be top of the notch Banana Republic overpriced garbage.
Hipsters love nonsensical noise, so they naturally love dubstep and Skrillex. Heck, a hipster may even go to the extent to fit his hairstyle around the Skrillex haircut, which is basically a hairstyle that only hipsters and lesbians wear.
Hipsters may also listen to grunge and a couple of heavy metal bands with names that include pejoratives. The hipster never dances though, because he is too intellectual for that.
Hipsters will only read stuff you never even thought would exist. The theme of the hipster’s reading include abstract crap with lots of big words and stuff that only makes sense if you are high (or as they call it, bohemian). A hipster will also read typical men’s magazines such as Esquire or GQ for his fashion advice and hairstyle advice; the hipster somehow never realizes that these men’s magazines thrive on losers like hipsters to profit from and that any content inside one of these pamphlets is recycled garbage that is repeated, with different words, issue after issue of the magazine. Remember, hipsters will not think twice about spending 200 bucks on a trendy men’s hairstyle so the hipster will intuitively reach for a men’s magazine with pretty pictures of men half naked and airbrushed hair.
I hope I have done a at least mediocre job at dissecting the hipster. If I haven’t, then me so sorry.